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Bitter Hostility

Updated: Jul 15, 2020

"Anger is like a silent missile!"

Why are some people more difficult to deal with than others? It doesn't take long for them to get mad, and they don't need a reason to start a fight. They are defensive. Never-mind trying to explain what you were trying to say it always goes, "to the left, to the left." Their anger is like a silent missile, out of nowhere, you hear shouting, raging, hollering, screaming, yelling, fussing, cussing, throwing, fighting, and attacks against you. The argument is heated as they blame you for running out of eggs, saying hello a different way, turning the forks the wrong way, leaving the toilet seat up, running out of toilet tissue. Wait, scratch the last one. Running out of toilet tissue is a big issue. Anyway, you get the point. Think about it. You speak damaging words to one another and still go out and get more eggs and tissue. But there was something deeper festering inside. Something neither one of you took the time to share.

"If anger is your only outlet then you're a walking timebomb ready to explode any time, anywhere, on any given day."

What would you say if I told you a large percentage of anger is a result of what someone is carrying inside? Did you know many of us would rather hide our inner feelings than talk about them? It's true! We get a feeling inside and either get busy with compulsive behaviors or create a big mess with our emotions. Mary Kurus author of, How to Understand, Identify, and Release your Emotions (2001) wrote:


"We are a society that is taught to hide our emotions, to be ashamed of them, or to be afraid of them. Regardless, we are born with them and must live with them. This means learning how to know them, be with them, and release them." (Kurus, 2001).


I am convinced that you are either born hostile or you turn hostile.

  • Bitter- resentment; a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will.

  • Hostility-.A state of open, prolonged fighting. (The Free Dictionary, 2020).

Born Hostile

In the bible, Abraham had two sons. One was by his wife Sarah and the other by his wife's Egyptian maidservant, Hagar. Both Abraham and Sarah were consenting, and Hagar became pregnant. The child grew, and Hagar started acting like she was better than Sarah because her mistress was still childless. Sarah scolded her, and Hagar ran away with her son. When Hagar got to the desert, an Angel appeared to her and comforted her about her child's future. The Angel encouraged Hagar to humbly return home to her mistress and continue to raise her son. The Angel also told her:

"This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.” (Genesis 16:12, NLT).

Quite naturally, the child's fate appeared doomed forever. Ishmael represents our flesh, which is always at war. It fights against us and everyone around us. Nothing can tame or control it. Our hostile flesh tears down relationships. No one is exempt from the attacks, not even our family. Our only hope for survival is through Sarah and Abraham's promised child, Isaac. He is the seed of Jesus Christ.

"If anger is your only outlet then you're a walking timebomb ready to explode any time, anywhere, on any given day.

Turned Hostile

What if your hostility is a result of wrong treatment, attack, and injury? Would this make your actions justifiable? What happens when we are angry without a cause? Then we are products of our inner turmoil, choosing to hold onto bitterness, which is resentment.


"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior." (Ephesians 4:31, NLT).


We have to turn our bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander over to the One God promised Abraham. If we continue in this evil behavior it will destroy us and the ones we say we love. Feelings are real, and our psychological process, which is the mental, emotional, and intellectual sides of us, are affected by them. Merrian-Webster says feelings are, "the general state of consciousness affected by emotions. It can be a feeling of passion, stirred to anger so overpowering, that it masters the mind or judgment." Did you hear that? We act against the better judgment of our intellect when an uncomfortable emotion triggers something we don't want to feel. We go through great lengths to prevent ourselves from feeling hurt. It's uncomfortable we suppress it. We never realize it will one day need to exit our body. I walked through twenty years of buried pain after almost having an emotional breakdown.

I was full of resentment over the way life had treated me. The relationships around me were falling apart, including the one between Wrong Luv and me. I felt helpless. The same way I could not change the outcome of my parents as a little girl, I could not change the outcome between Wrong Luv and me. We both grew up in a hostile environment, and I still resented it.


"I search for peace; but when I speak of peace, they want war!" (Psalms 120:7).


I needed someone to get me out of my hurt feelings. "I was carrying deep secrets in the core of my soul. I turned my broken heart to the Cross. My bones were rotten, and my flesh carried a horrible stench. God shears hurt, but He had to get to the root of my pain. I was a skeptic and had major trust issues, but that did not stop God from pursuing me. He patiently waited for me to surrender to His will and journeyed me on the inside to heal the pains that were still buried deep in my soul." (Armour, 2016). You can read more of my escape in my book: Emotionally Unstable.

There is hope you don't have to travel through life resenting others, but freedom and liberation will only come through forgiveness.

Please share your experiences with LA. Leave a comment and share this post with someone.



For the American Heritage Dictionary definition: resentment. (n.d.) American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. (2011). Retrieved June 30, 2020, from

"You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it, you will certainly die.” (Genesis 2:9, NIV).

Kurus, Mary consultant of, How to Understand, Identify, and Release your Emotions, Web 2000, 2001, 2015.

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