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Drawn to Real-Love

Updated: Dec 18, 2021

Real Love Exposes False Pretenses!

Everyone has their concepts about love. Here is mine. Think of love as a body of water. Its lengths can never be measured. Its beginning has no ending points. Its depths are unknown; it spreads across the earth's horizon. Love is like water unable to be contained, only explored.


What then, does love do to our relationships? It moves us into limitless explorations of emotional, mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual discoveries. It's beautiful when two people find real love, and choose to explore it together. But love, just like water, is affected by the elements around it. The sea is troubled at times, and its calm begins to rage. No matter when or how relationships tumult, real love will never act opposite of its characteristics.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV).

What a wonderful description of love. Of course, my share of wrong relationships looked nothing like the text. There was no commitment involved, just 'Friend's with Benefits.' It was all play and no chance of real love. Whether it was for their convenience or mine, it offered no opportunity of creating a future. The men I dated reminded me that my standards were too high, and they would not be paying the full value of my worth after dinner. No, they didn't actually state this, but made it clear that sex was first and love might come later. While I can point my finger at them, the truth is I had lost trust in love and marriage and believed sex could take its place. Well I was wrong, and it never worked.


One of my favorite movies to watch is Baggage Claims. Her 30-day pursuit of love around the world left a lasting impression that we often search for things that are not right for us. Inside of every human experience is a need to feel love. The kind of love that is patient, kind, long-suffering, self-controlled, tells the truth, won't lie, mislead, trick, deceive, con, cheat, and I could go on forever. Somehow in the movie, she found herself pursuing old flames with hidden agendas, secret motives, and false-pretenses. Sound familiar ladies and gentlemen? We discount, bargain, auction, and wholesale potential relationships like property never fully exploring the power of real love. The reason behind this happening usually results from an unrealistic concept of love's meaning.


My experience with love was bittersweet. I could feel hurt, disappointment, heartbreak, and pain taking me over. Rejection made me never want to feel love again. Everything reversed inside of me. I started keeping records of the people who did me wrong while they lived care-free. How many times did I have to hurt over the same results? Resenting life became inevitable. It took me some time to realize it was my perception of love that made it difficult to discern between the hidden agendas, secret motives, and false pretenses of those I kept drawing. Once I reached for love on the inside of me something new opened. Real love started springing forth, and the bitter resentment released me. Whether you're married or single you cannot stop exploring love.


There was no need to be filled with anger over who left me or who I left. The main objective was to love me first, and stop expecting it from outside sources. When you do this, you won't be desperately tricked by those with false pretenses. Their words won't slither around you like a snake, because you will know the characteristics of real love. You have to trust where love has you, and when the right one comes along he or she will value all that you are worth.


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